Oops-just-stepped-on-something sandals with Duchampian ready-made heels – all part of Jonathan Anderson’s exploration of the hysterical in the everyday (as inspired by Italian Mannerist painter Pontormo, known for his works that distort perspectives) at Loewe

Sunglasses to go from street to masquerade party from Louis Vuitton’s time-travelling “grand bal” of a collection.

At Marine Serre, vintage fabrics are scanned then reprinted onto crunchy popcorn textures that say “see and touch!” – and make one wonder about their provenance.

Belt buckles and buttons at Schiaparelli keep extra eyes and ears out for the wearer.

A trompe l’oeil of an Eastpak on a backpack – only at Margiela (or more specifically MM6 Maison Margiela).

Not a dramatic fan, but an equally fly bracelet clutch embroidered with swishy ostrich feathers at Valentino, where creative director Pierpaolo Piccioli aimed to celebrate humanity and “diversity in joyous ways.”

Feminine instinct growing in a pearlescent, faceted egg-slash-wristlet clutch at Simone Rocha (fun fact: the designer had given birth to her second daughter not long before the show last September).

Yes, that’s a chain-mail-style face mask created out of spectacle lenses – courtesy of Maison Margiela, where John Galliano’s starting point this season was the sport of electro-magnetic fly fishing and the carefree youths who do it.

Mega upsized watch bracelets move from wrist to waist at the triumphantly body-positive Balmain.

Too-cute cherry-shaped clutches with don’t-mess-with-me knuckle-duster-style handles at Undercover where Jun Takahashi has subverted the fashion of the ’50s and ’60s.

Acne Studios’ gilded safety pin purse – one of the most innovative and glamorous uses of the prosaic fastener we’ve seen.

A trick-or-treat bucket for art-loving adults from Givenchy, which has teamed up with American artist Josh Smith – known for his dark and irreverent works that blur the lines between good and bad taste – on prints and accessories such as this handbag.

This article first appeared in the Jan/Feb 2022 Art & Music: The Analogue Edition of FEMALE